I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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