u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will be naked everywhere
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
