she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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