I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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