fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
