hotel room ftw
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
