I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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