im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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