sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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