Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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