why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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