WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have tasted many bathrooms
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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