I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
