See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
