How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
