Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just forgot I was standing up.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
