the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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