That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
where am i from again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
