Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
