we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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