my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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