found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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