I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
