i don't like sucking hair
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
