that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Boobs speak an international language.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
