Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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