There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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