Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
