Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
