Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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