Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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