I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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