she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
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I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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