Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize