I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
