She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize