I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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