I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
