Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
