thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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