Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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