yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
