Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
only if we run a train.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???