By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
