It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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