All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
