Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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