He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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