Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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