I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
