Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
