i just wanna soil my oats bro
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
