Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
