Three words: puerto rican gang bang
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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