Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
