Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
