I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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