you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
